Tag Archives: Rejected Pitches

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Rejected Pitches : Jurassic Park

Well, I’m sad to report that this season of Rejected Pitches has come to end. And what’s a more appropriate way to end  than with the beginning…of time, ya nerds! With dinosaurs, ya dummies! And Steven Spielberg is back, too. If you’re a real fan of the series, you know what I’m talking about.

And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here.

And if you do know what I’m talking about but aren’t a real fan of the series, perhaps you should watch the rest of the Rejected Pitches series here and become one.

 

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Rejected Pitches : The Birds

In Alfred Hitchcock’s film The Birds, birds kill humans for no given reason. That got me thinking, how many birds could I take on if it came down to it? No weapons, no clothes, no nothing. Just what the big (wo)man upstairs has given me, and what he/she has given to birds.

I suppose it really depends on the type of bird, right? I mean, little birds wouldn’t be a problem. I could take on dozens. But you take some kind of prehistoric beast-bird like, I don’t know, an Argentavis, and I’m in over my head a little bit.

How many can you birds could you take, ya bird brain?!

Watch the rest of the Rejected Pitches here.

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Rejected Pitches : Being John Malkovich

What did John Malkovich ever do to you?

Shouldn’t John Malkovich be replaced with Tom Cruise?

You think trapping your wife in a monkey cage is fun?

Our friends at Rejected Pitches ponder all of the important questions this week and take on Charlie Kaufman. Meanwhile, we just really miss John Cusack. Where are you John Cusack???

Catch up on all the rejected pitches here!

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Rejected Pitches : Edward Scissorhands

We all know that every good movie needs some sort of lesson. What could possibly be the lesson from a movie about a guy with scissors for hands?

Slap a pair of leather gloves on him, reveal his hands to be big, tan, and veiny and let the lesson be “You never know what’s beneath someone’s gloves.”

Eddie Gloveman.

Check out previous episodes of Rejected Pitches here.

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Rejected Pitches: The Sixth Sense

If “The Sixth Sense” hadn’t come out, the world would be a very different place.

For one thing, people would have never run around whispering “I see dead people” all the time.

We would have never known that Mischa Barton in her prime was actually way before The O.C.

And finally, we all would have known Haley Joel Osment as that kid in that random movie about lions.

Check out why it should have been rejected on the latest episode of Rejected Pitches! Catch up on the rest of the series here. 

 

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Rejected Pitches : Home Alone

John Hughes is routinely praised for his films accurately depicting middle-class adolescence in America’s suburbs. He had a unique gift writing dialog that captured the speech of our nation’s high-schoolers.

Too bad he doesn’t know squat about violence! Kevin would have dead been so fast! Bang! Shot in the head! Bad guys win! Cute kid loses! That’s it! Credits please!

But don’t listen to me. Watch the Rejected Pitches team give John the business.

New episode of Rejected Pitches above.  See previous episodes here.

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Rejected Pitches: Pulp Fiction

If only Quentin Tarantino would have listened to the Rejected Pitches team, the meandering Pulp Fiction would never have been made and instead Honey Bunny’s Funny Sunday would have taken home the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. Now that sounds like a movie I’d go see!

Have any ideas for Honey Bunny’s Funny Sunday? Leave them in the comments below!

New episode of Rejected Pitches above.  See previous episodes here.

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